Oh I hope this isn’t me

I received a letter in the post from a former pupil, now a happily married Dr with two lovely children. She offered me this poem- failing to tell me it actually wasn’t about me. I had quite a wobble when I read it and genuinely hope my students don’t come and sit through my lessons like this, and anyway I’m only on the second floor now.

Ode to Double Physics

Crawled upstairs to the third floor.

Teacher greets us at the door.

Why does this feel such a chore,

When it’s the subject I most adore?

Take jackets off, shove chewing gum in,

Two minutes later “put that in the bin!”

Teacher roars “Oh what a din”

Right now I need a good stiff gin.

Outputs? Inputs? Analogue Device?

Can’t this be a tad more concise?

Turn to Gem, need advice,

All I get is “Russell’s nice”.

Potential energy of a rock.

Glance again at that damn clock.

That clever voice I try to block.

When will this pain ever stop?

Pack up time is here at last.

I’m so glad that’s in the past.

Then I realise, just as fast,

I’ve got to suffer one more class.

By Eileen MacEwen

Oh dear, I really hope this wasn’t about me, although logic gates can be rather boring. No wonder they’re only on National 4 now.

The photo of Eileen’s school report was written by her Chemistry Teacher Mr Dave Pound, who is sorely missed and was a real legend. The report was the “alternative” and not the one that went home stuck on the sheet.


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